I’m what you might call a “convenience store high roller”. Let’s just say, if my local Super America Store were a Las Vegas Casino, I’d have a free suite with a steak dinner. However, there is something that even the most seasoned convenience store "power user" cannot abide: "Inconsiderate Queuing”. You see, there are typically two checkouts in your average Super America convenience store--as I am sure there are for many other types of stores. Really, this could be any establishment with multiple checkouts. But delays at the convenience store are particularly irritating because, well, it’s supposed to be convenient. As the diagram suggests, there is a right way to queue up at a store.
One does not form two lines trying to guess which will be the shortest. No. No. No. One forms a line at the back of the checkout farthest from the door. In this way, regardless of which checkout counter becomes available first, the next in line will move to the next available checkout. Efficient. Orderly. Fair.
When I walk into a convenience store and see two lines forming, I immediately attempt to set the precedent for a single line system by queuing up at the back of the line for checkout #2 facing the doors such that my line of sight is parallel to the front of the two checkout counters. This is my natural signal to the rest of the herd that I am leading. It is time for them to (literally) fall in line behind me.
Let’s assume for a moment that I am successful. I line up at the end of the second checkout counter and people start to fall in line behind me. Pretty soon we have a nice, orderly… even convenient experience. Then let’s say you walk in and start to form a line behind the checkout closest to the door. You’ve effectively cut in front of 4 or five other people who are waiting their turn. You inconsiderate jerk!
What were you thinking? “Hey, look at all those idiots waiting in line behind checkout #2. Don’t they see that there is only one guy at checkout #1. What a bunch of morons”. Great. Good job asshole. You’ve just torn asunder the fabric of our society. You’ve created anarchy from order. What results is a series of line changes, and nervous glances. “Checkout Lane Anxiety” overtakes even the most patient and courteous of us. Jockeying for position and aggressively moving from one “line” to the other. Now there is bottleneck of people waiting right in front of the doors. People are bumping into one another, items are dropped and chaos ensues.
Not very convenient if you ask me.
It just takes one person to destroy the harmony of this logical practice. Now that this chaos has been established it’s going to take an extreme act of will by a brave soul willing to risk disenfranchisement at the hands of his less courteous brethren. So this affects more than the few people currently waiting in line. Once established, this pattern of inefficiency and frustration can last for hours, causing irritation and anxiety for dozens of people--people who no doubt carry this frustration with them to their jobs or their families. This, ultimately, culminates in work-place violence and domestic abuse which only serves to perpetuate the cycle of violence and intolerance in our society. It grows and festers into a swirling maelstrom of hate until, eventually, all this bottled up anger and hostility ends up somewhere in the Middle East.
One does not form two lines trying to guess which will be the shortest. No. No. No. One forms a line at the back of the checkout farthest from the door. In this way, regardless of which checkout counter becomes available first, the next in line will move to the next available checkout. Efficient. Orderly. Fair.
When I walk into a convenience store and see two lines forming, I immediately attempt to set the precedent for a single line system by queuing up at the back of the line for checkout #2 facing the doors such that my line of sight is parallel to the front of the two checkout counters. This is my natural signal to the rest of the herd that I am leading. It is time for them to (literally) fall in line behind me.
Let’s assume for a moment that I am successful. I line up at the end of the second checkout counter and people start to fall in line behind me. Pretty soon we have a nice, orderly… even convenient experience. Then let’s say you walk in and start to form a line behind the checkout closest to the door. You’ve effectively cut in front of 4 or five other people who are waiting their turn. You inconsiderate jerk!
What were you thinking? “Hey, look at all those idiots waiting in line behind checkout #2. Don’t they see that there is only one guy at checkout #1. What a bunch of morons”. Great. Good job asshole. You’ve just torn asunder the fabric of our society. You’ve created anarchy from order. What results is a series of line changes, and nervous glances. “Checkout Lane Anxiety” overtakes even the most patient and courteous of us. Jockeying for position and aggressively moving from one “line” to the other. Now there is bottleneck of people waiting right in front of the doors. People are bumping into one another, items are dropped and chaos ensues.
Not very convenient if you ask me.
It just takes one person to destroy the harmony of this logical practice. Now that this chaos has been established it’s going to take an extreme act of will by a brave soul willing to risk disenfranchisement at the hands of his less courteous brethren. So this affects more than the few people currently waiting in line. Once established, this pattern of inefficiency and frustration can last for hours, causing irritation and anxiety for dozens of people--people who no doubt carry this frustration with them to their jobs or their families. This, ultimately, culminates in work-place violence and domestic abuse which only serves to perpetuate the cycle of violence and intolerance in our society. It grows and festers into a swirling maelstrom of hate until, eventually, all this bottled up anger and hostility ends up somewhere in the Middle East.
7 comments:
A perfect analogy for what would happen to American society under absolute Libertarianism, as opposed to sound public policy.
Oh Marc, once again your fervent partisanship blinds you to the truth. Well sort of. In my vision of truly Libertarian society there would be no need for public policy regulating how one behaves in line at the store. It should be part of the social contract, enforced by others in line or by the business they are patronizing. SA should post a sign. If they don't, we should fee free to tell the idiot who breaks the unwritten rules to queue up properly. I would argue that we don’t do that because of the very fact that we are over-regulated ot the point where we have delegated our responsibility to deal with one another to the government. "If there ain't a law against it, it must be okay."
So it's my belief that the over-use of public policy combined with a litigious populous spurned on by big government and an absurd amount of unnecessary regulation has created an environment where people are no longer able to police themselves.
On the other hand, Super America should take it upon themselves to take care of this problem before some big government liberal policy maker creates yet another unnecessary law.
You've inspired me to use my consumer vote and write a letter to Super America asking for this. I'll keep you all appraised of the results.
I was just trying to get a rise out of you, but since you took it seriously, I guess our different worldviews are pretty clear now:
Scott: People behave like selfish assholes because of too much public policy.
Marc: Public policy has to exist because so many people behave like selfish assholes.
None of this has anything to do with SA, of course. I'm just using them as an analogy--take out the "Super"--for America.
I hope you don't think I'm actually saying that line behavior should be regulated.
I'm simply saying that when it comes to an issue as big as, say, mitigating global warming, there are a lot of assholes in the ol' queue who, left completely to their own devices, even with the collective shaming power of the good people in line, are still going to screw it up for the rest of us.
Are you listening, China?
I started out with tongue firmly in cheek, but somehow it, as with most things I do, ended up in a rant.
Of course, I didn't mean to imply that you thought we should regulate line behavior. We've covered this already and I tend to agree with you on macro-issues like health care or climate change.
That said, with enough resolve on the part of the world community, even China has to step in line eventually. The resolve simply isn't there. If the EU said we will not exchange trade in any form with countries who do not sign up for the Kyoto Protocol then one of two things would happen (perhaps both): 1.) Everyone would sign up and/or 2.) The Kyoto Protocol would be more carefully reviewed to see if it actually made sense since now the stakes are much higher.
I think your fear is that the world wouldn't come together but rather we would all slip into some bipolar world community of the civilized versus the barbarians. An overly pessimistic view of the world some would say.
I on the other hand, would say that we are already there... guess who the barbarians are?
i dont even think its selfishness. just a lack of understanding moral law.
Scott, honey, maybe you should just avoid the SA and go to the grocery store. The environment is set up to encourage proper line behavior and people are more used to lining up in the correct way.
Because, its just a line. I agree that some people are being assholes and cutting in front of everyone because they don't care who they piss off. But other people are so focused on just paying for their slurpie and a pack of smokes so they can go home, that they aren't paying attention to the queuing taking place.
I find it more fascinating how infrequently people call a "line cutter" out. You'll hear people making snide little comments under their breath or saying something to their friend, but how often do you hear someone say, "Excuse me. The line ends back there." It seems easier for most people to bitch about something to themselves than to actually do something about it.
Patina, well of course I'd be better off going to a grocery store. But you know, it's just so damned inconvenient.
And you're right about people not saying anything. It must be the passive aggressive nature of the Midwest. I'm going to take a stand and call these people out, and put them in their place... which is somewhere in the back of the line.
I've not yet heard back from SA regarding my letter to them, but we'll see.
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