So today I learn of the Westboro Baptist Church's announcement that it will picket the funeral of Christina Green, the 9-year-old victim, whose family is Catholic. True to their past actions they have already fired the first salvo from the “church’s” leader Fred Phelps whose spokesperson (his daughter) said: "God sent the shooter! Praise God for ALL his works, and BE YE THANKFUL!." The controversial church, based in Topeka, has made its name by staging protests at funerals of people who died of AIDS, gay people, soldiers and even Coretta Scott King. If you don’t know this family-run church, they are the ones who picket soldier’s funerals with the big “God Hates Fags” and “Thank God for IED’s” signs while the grieving family of the deceased looks on in horror after the funeral.
So what’s my response to this development? What would I say to the good reverend Fred Phelps and his family of followers? I think it may go something like this: “Shut the fuck up, you stupid, ignorant, self-important, asshole, dipshit, moronic, pathetic, piece-of-shit, dick-wad, scum-sucking, mouth-breathing, evil prick, son-of-a-bitch fuck-stain of a human being!” Or, you know, something along those lines.
Seriously, after a violent and senseless act like the one we witnessed this weekend it really makes one want to turn away from violence. People start asking questions like “What would Jesus do?” Well I’ll tell you… Jesus would likely say something along the lines of: “turn the other cheek” or “love your fellow man” or “forgive your neighbors”. Well, sorry J.C. but clearly that shit just doesn’t cut the mustard. This is the kind of thing that requires a gang of Hell’s Angels to show up and beat the ever-living shit out of these people, drag their broken and bruised bodies to the town square, strip them naked and set them on fire.
I know I may be engaging in “violent rhetoric”, but you know what? I’m fine with that. Because in this case, in this rare and unique case, if some crazy, unstable, schizophrenic nut-job decides to murder the entire blessed flock of the Westboro Baptist Church, I’d gladly accept the responsibility.
