mal•a•prop n. - the unintentional misuse of a word by confusion with one that sounds similar

Example: You need an altitude adjustment, you’re too self-defecating.”

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prop•o•si•tion (prp-zshn) n.

1. A Subject for discussion or analysis.
2. A statement that affirms or denies something.

Example: “I think you should go play a nice game of hide-and-go-fuck-yourself.”

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

"Hi." -- "No."

One of my favorite little foibles is something I call the “Assumptive Response Error”. This occurs when two or more people are in a common, typically unimportant and often perfunctory situation. It goes something like this:

Person 1: “Have a good night.”
Person 2: “You’re welcome.”

Person 1: “Hi there.”
Person 2: “Just fine, thanks.”

That shit cracks me up. I see it all the time. My favorite (and something of which I myself have been guilty) is:

Person 1: “Happy Birthday.”
Person 2: “You too.”


There are very few instances when this is actually an appropriate response and I’ve never seen twins do this.

I was thinking of this yesterday evening as I walked down 1st Ave. If you’ve ever been out and about down there during the evening there is no shortage of beggars. They have a large array of sob stories and sales pitches to try to cajole you out of your spare change. But you can always tell when it’s about to happen. It was during one of these brief exchanges when I realized there is actually a version of the Assumptive Response Error that is not, in fact, an error at all:

Bum: “Hi there.”
Me: “No.”

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