World's Greatest Dad

I have an announcement to make. I’ve decided that I have children. Not that I am going to have children, but that I already have. Molly, age six and little Spence, age four, sure are a handful. But it’s rewarding. I mean just the other day they were playing in the living room and Molly said the cutest thing: “Daddy, why do birds and bees have sex?” Adorable. Needless to say, it was also a bit awkward. Ha ha ha. They’re just so honest about everything it reminds me of what’s important in life. I have a big picture of the two of them as my desk-top image, my background photo on my phone and a little one of the three of us as my instant messenger icon. That way they are with me every day, wherever I am. And more importantly, everyone else can see them too and realize how much I love them and how they are the priority in my life. It’s tough being a single father.

So you’ll have to forgive me if I talk about them all the time to exclusion of anything in which you may be interested. I’m going to need some extra time off this summer because I’m taking Molly and her friend to summer camp. I will miss her for a week, but we’ll be on the road for 3 days each way. Imagine the memories we’ll forge together. Because you know what’s most special about being a father? The memories. Not the bad ones mind you, just the good ones. There must be like a dozen of them by now. I can’t recall off the top of my head, but I know they are there. Like the time, Spencer fell down the steps and we had to go the ER on a Monday morning. I was so concerned about him I totally forgot to call in to work to let them know I wouldn’t make that client meeting. But hey, it’s my kid! They HAVE to understand.

Okay, I can’t keep that up without vomiting in my mouth. I get it. Really I do. We love our kids. But I get the sense that the real benefit here is all the memories. The first words, the first steps blah blah blah. “They say the darndest things!” Well, that’s because they have no sense of responsibility or accountability for what they say. You know what, I can do that too. In fact, I often do. As far as the memories go… hell, I can make those up and have them be just as real. So there we are. I’m a great dad! In fact, according to my coffee mug, I’m "The World's Greatest Dad!"

The point is, from now on, I have kids too. Deal with it.

You must now feel sorry for me raising two children on my own. Cut me some slack when I get short tempered. Understand that I can’t do you that favor or loan you that tool because I need it to take care the home I am keeping for my children. Yes, you have to listen to all my stories about them (really about me). So give me an extra tax credit or two and understand that I have to leave work early today, my daycare provider is leaving early and I have to pick up the kids. I can’t wait to see what the little rascals do tomorrow. I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.